


Your Hand in Mine

by RemyJane



Series: The Best by Far is You [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Hanna Backstrom, M/M, Off-Season, Purposeful Baby Acquisition, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:07:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyJane/pseuds/RemyJane
Summary: “Everything good, everything magical, happens between the months of June and August.”————Straight up fluff. Alex and Nicky spend their off-season raising Hanna and learning to be together.





	Your Hand in Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, there’s so much fluff, I feel like I need to warn you again. Also, eventual unprotected sex, which is discussed, though not in this fic.
> 
> Enjoy!

[3 months]

Alex had to go back to Russia after Hanna was well, returning in July to be home with Nicky and Hanna. When he’d left, Hanna had mastered a toothless, drooling grin. When he returned, he found she’d moved on to a new skill. 

“Kitchen!” Nicky called as the front door closed. Alex kicked his sandals off and padded barefoot into kitchen. 

Nicky was seated at the kitchen island, his tablet in front of him just beyond Hanna’s reach. She was nestled in her baby carrier and babbling at Nicky around her hand in her mouth. Alex kissed Nicky, tangling one hand in his hair. When he pulled back, he savored the split-second of dazed want that lingered in his eyes. 

“Missed you.” Alex said, scooting out a stool and sitting beside them. 

“We missed you too.” Nicky assured him. “Here. Hanna has something to show you.” He said, not quite managing to hold back a smile. 

Nicky took her out of the sling and handed her to Alex. Alex lifted her in the air, kissing her face. She smiled at him and he did it again. 

“Hey, Hanna.” Nicky said quietly, catching her attention. He covered his face and uncovered it. “Peekaboo!” 

She laughed, arms flailing and belly shaking with it. Alex’s face split into a wide smile. “You laugh now?!” He kissed her again. “Definitely best baby.” He blew raspberries against her cheeks and she kept laughing, joyous and unrestrained. 

Nicky was grinning when Alex met his eye, almost as much as Hanna. “She learned that last week.” He admitted. “But I thought it would be better to hear in person.” 

“Best.” Alex nodded. 

Hanna was content to snuggle with Alex, cooing and babbling at him and drooling on his shirt. Nicky tried to apologize, but Alex shook his head. “Baby drool ok. Maybe Burky drool on me, I get mad.” Alex kissed her fingers and watched as she smiled again. 

“She likes you.” 

“Has good taste.” Alex smirked teasingly. Nicky was a little pink in the cheeks, happy in a way like it had leached into the marrow of his bones and forever stained them. 

“Or something.” Nicky said, shaking his head. “What do you want to do?”

Playing with Hanna, being at home, that was the extent of Alex’s plan for the day, in addition to fighting jet lag. He could see why Nicky would be eager to do something else though, he’d been taking care of Hanna and then he’d been alone. 

“Go get lunch?” He suggested. 

“Sure.” Nicky agreed. “Let me change first.” 

Alex stood Hanna on his lap, watching as her chubby legs imitated taking steps. “Too big.” He told her softly. “Slow down.” 

Nicky came back downstairs a few minutes later, wearing khaki shorts and a t-shirt of a band Alex had never heard of. He smiled at Hanna and Alex, pausing at the threshold of the kitchen. “Ready?” He asked, cocking his head. 

They made small talk in the car, attention divided between debating where to go and responding to Hanna’s cheerful. Alex settled on a local Italian place near Nicky’s home, somewhere he knew was family friendly. 

Hanna was quiet when they parked and fell asleep in the baby sling after they were seated. Nicky smoothed her hair, a smile tugging at one side of his mouth. “She’s still getting use to being back on a schedule.” He explained. 

“Is good sleeper. Like her papa.” Alex teased; Nicky could fall asleep anywhere, anytime, if he put his mind to it. 

Nicky chuckled. “Yeah. So.” He met Alex’s gaze with confidence. “You’re back for the summer?”

“Back forever.” Nicky rolled his eyes. “Until next off-season.” Alex added, kicking his foot into Nicky’s under the table. 

“Ok. Good.”

“Meant it. Missed you and Hanna. Even before…” Before Alex had flown halfway around the world because Hanna was sick. Before they’d confessed their feeling to each other. Alex had promised Nicky they would go slow, but he’d been all in long before then. 

“I missed you too.” Nicky said quietly. “I don't know how dating works when you have a baby.” 

“We go slow. Figure it out.” Alex said sagely. “She too little to care anyway.” 

Nicky tipped his head, nodding. “True.” He tapped their feet together, smiling a little mischievously. “Not too slow, I hope.” He said coyly. 

They ate and Hanna slept. Afterwards, Nicky collapsed into the passenger seat, cheeks flushed from the brief time outside in the heat and humidity of D.C in the summer. “Let’s go to a museum.” He said suddenly. 

“Ok.” Alex nodded, putting the car in gear. “Which one?”

Nicky’s nose wrinkled. “I don’t care. I just want to walk somewhere with A.C.” 

After a brief delay, they decided on the Art Museum, which was quiet on a Tuesday afternoon. They strolled through the broad halls, talking in hushed tones. Alex didn’t understand art, not really, but there was an easy appeal in watching Nicky look at it. 

Nicky diligently read each sign, rocking side to side as he absently patted Hanna’s back. He’d tilt his head as he considered each piece, searching it for something, before moving onto the next one. 

They steadily picked their way through exhibits until Hanna decided she was hungry. They settled on a recessed bench and Nicky set about feeding her. 

“She like them cold?” He asked. 

Nicky shook his head. “Not really.” He admitted. “I put a preheated one in before we left. Case keeps it hot. She’s picky about it.”

“A Backstrom picky? Never.” Alex said, barely maintaining a straight face. 

“I know.” Nicky said, voice dry and sardonic. “I don’t know where she gets it from.” In his arms, Hanna ignored the subtle teasing and eagerly drank up her bottle. 

“You definitely not fuss about your tea.” Alex grinned. 

“Skim milk is an abomination.” Nicky mumbled under his breath. 

“Only three months old, she fuss like you, wrinkles nose when she’s upset. Very cute.” Alex said. 

Nicky wrinkled his nose at him. “I don’t do that.” He said; Alex wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. Either way, Alex laughed and patted his shoulder. 

“Of course not.” He said agreeably. 

They walked around the museum for another hour before Nicky was yawning between paintings and shuffling his feet. Alex steered them towards the exit, stepping out into the hot sunlight of late afternoon. 

Hanna protested the indignities of being forced into a car seat, even though it was comparatively cool thanks to it’s cover. She settled once the car was moving, the motion soothing. 

Nicky slouched in the passenger seat, looking like he was ready to fall asleep himself. “Maybe I drive around until both of you sleep?” Alex offered. 

Nicky snorted. “Good luck carrying me inside.” 

“You want to go home?” Nicky shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. “Tired of house?” Alex guessed. 

“I feel like I can’t go do anything.” Nicky admitted. “It takes forever to get out the door.” 

“Maybe little easier when she is bigger.” Alex shrugged, turning down an unfamiliar street. 

“Where are we going?” Nicky asked. 

“Find coffee, then make plan. No good for Hanna if you cranky.” 

“I’m not-“

“Not yet.” Alex interrupted. 

Nicky shrugged. “Fine.” 

They got coffee and drove aimlessly for a while. The road was hot enough to create a hazy layer of air right above it, distorting cars and signs. Nicky sat quietly in the passenger seat until Alex stopped at a park. 

“It’s too hot.” He said, looking at Alex and studying him intently. 

“They have…kid fountains here.” Alex explained, unsure what to call it. 

Hanna frowned when Nicky put her hat on her, the wide brim decorated with flowers. Alex smiled at her, kissing her cheek, but she continued to frown. 

“Definitely your kid.” Alex chuckled, leading them into the park. He’d come there once years ago, when he’d been bored and looking for a new place to run. 

There was a playground, up on a hill and shaded by large trees, a lake with a swimming area, and a paved area with fountains, sunshades, and benches. There were children running back and forth in the water, shouting with delight. 

Hanna’s eyes were wide, taking in all the new sounds and sights. Nicky glanced at Alex. “We’re going to be recognized.” Baseball hat or no, Alex was distinct looking. 

Alex shrugged. “So? Kids more interested in playing.” 

They were recognized almost immediately. Alex took a few pictures with some of the kids while Nicky hung back, shielding Hanna from the attention. Alex returned to his side a few minutes later, finding Nicky sitting at the edge of the smallest fountain, supporting Hanna on his lap. She laughed when water droplets hit her, bouncing in his hands. 

“See? She likes.” Alex said. “Here, I hold.” Nicky handed her off easily, grinning as Alex immediately ran through the water, laughing loudly. Hanna seemed to find the sound funny. Alex jogged back through, grinning at Nicky as he shook water droplets from his hair. 

Nicky’s eyes were radiating contented happiness and he ducked his head to hide his smile. Alex sat beside him, balancing Hanna on his knee. His body shielded her from the sun, only the occasional drop of water splashing against them. 

Hanna clumsily tried to clap her hands, missing more often than she made contact. Alex watched her, laughing, and looked up to catch Nicky staring at him with something akin to hunger in his eyes. 

“Yeah?” Alex asked, dropping his voice low.

Nicky’s cheeks flushed and he averted his gaze. “S’nothing.” He lied. 

Alex smirked. “Uh huh.” 

After a few more passes through the fountain, they walked back to the car as Hanna babbled happily in Nicky’s arms, chewing on one of her hands. 

Alex liked watching Nicky with Hanna. He liked how his big hands looked cradling her, liked the patient smile he found when she cried, and he loved the way Nicky watched her with open, obvious love and protectiveness. He loved listening to him speak in Swedish to her, and English, talking to her gently but like she could really understand. 

“The car seat is good for you.” Nicky murmured as he buckled her in. “I know you’d rather be held but I’d rather you not die.” He kissed her forehead but she refused to be placated. 

Nicky looked nervous in the car; Alex knew his tells. He was purposefully, deliberately still, his hands clenched in an imitation of relaxation. He didn’t touch his hair, though he usually had to continuously push it behind his ears until the ends were tangled and the curls indistinct. 

Hanna was whining when they got home, a noise Alex had come to understand meant she was hungry and believed they’d forgotten she needed a bottle. Her usual unworried babbling turned to something more irritated and urgent. 

Nicky made short work of preparing her bottle, settling on the couch to feed her. Alex took a picture, earning himself a frown. But this was as big as Hanna had ever been and she’d never be so little again. If Alex could stop time and live this afternoon for every day till the end of time, he would. 

“She should take a nap after this.” Nicky said, more to the bottle than to Alex. 

“Ok.” Alex said; he wanted Nicky to say where this was going.

“We could...catch up.” Nicky shrugged one shoulder. 

“Sounds good.” Alex grinned. 

Nicky shot him an annoyed look, laced with heat. “I meant we could talk. About us. About this.” Nicky’s lips said talk, but his eyes were dark and edged with eager wickedness. Alex could feel it like lasers on his skin. 

Hanna went down for her nap with relative ease. Alex watched from the doorway as Nicky changed her diaper and sang her a lullaby. His voice was clear and sweet like spring water and Alex could drown in it. 

Hanna yawned and stretched as Nicky lowered her into the crib. “Sweet dreams, alskling.” He whispered, turning on a sound machine before turning out the light. He flipped on the baby monitor and took its pair with him as he closed the door. 

“So.” Alex said, once they were truly alone for the first time. 

“So.” Nicky echoed. 

“You want to talk?” He offered. 

Nicky’s nose scrunched almost imperceptibly. “Not really.” He admitted. His hands caught Alex’s, pulling him close, until their lips brushed together. “I can think of other things to do with your mouth.” 

Christ, Alex thought; he severely underestimated Nicklas Backstrom. He kissed him, he had too, he couldn’t let a comment like that go. 

Nicky pressed him into the wall, kissing into his mouth with urgency, with desperate need, with a charged energy Alex had never felt before. 

“What happened to go slow?” Alex panted when they broke for air. 

“Do you want to stop?” Nicky asked, lips still against his. 

“No, but-“

Nicky cut him off with a kiss. “I haven’t had sex in almost a year.” He whispered. Nicky’s skin was burning with want, even through his clothes. Alex’s train of thought hopped the rails for a moment, an electrical box short circuiting somewhere on the line. “Do you want me to stop?” Nicky asked again, a tiger restrained by a thread. 

“Fuck, no.” Alex said with certainty. 

Nicky kissed his again, his hands cupping his face. He licked into his mouth and bit his lip, sighing deeply when Alex returned the favor. 

“Bedroom.” 

Alex had never been more onboard with an idea, ever. They hastily shed their clothes between kisses, until Alex managed to shove Nicky onto the mattress. He climbed on top of him and pinned him down, kissing up and down his body. 

He’d seen Nicky naked a thousand times before, but nothing like this. He kissed the small scars on his hip from the surgery, kissed the palms of his hand, bit kisses into his collarbones. Nicky arched beneath him, gasping, and covering his mouth to muffle a moan. 

Every touch was electric; Nicky was shaking with it and Alex felt simultaneously powerful and lost in him. He could tear Nicky apart piece by piece like he, himself, was a destructive god; he could worship Nicky like an altar. 

“Oh my god.” Nicky gasped as Alex’s mouth closed around his cock. “Oh my god.” 

Alex swallowed him down; he’d done this before but it had never been like this. Nicky wriggled and writhed under his ministration, touch-starved and deprived. Alex lost himself in the musky, heady scent of Nicky, until fingers were tangling in his hair to alert him. He pulled off with a ‘pop’ and Nicky groaned, hips jerking in search of sensation. 

“Sasha.” Alex looked up and caught his eye, which was a mistake. Nicky’s pupils were wide, rimmed only by a thin ring of green. His cheeks were flushed and his lips bitten pink. “Oh, shit.” 

Alex chuckled, crawling up to kiss his mouth. Nicky’s hand fumbled to grab his length, first uncoordinated and then gaining rhythm. Alex ground his hips into it, chasing friction. 

“Lube?” He asked. 

“Nightstand.” 

Alex grabbed for it, pouring more than he needed onto his fingers, so it ran down his hand. “Nicky, this ok?” Nicky nodded. “Nicky…”

“Fuck, yes, yes.” He said, opening his eyes again. 

Alex’s finger easily penetrated him, working him open slowly. Nicky ground down against him, hurried, and Alex found the sight of Nicky’s desperation unspeakably arousing. 

Two fingers quickly gave way to three, at which point Alex’s dick was leaking. He squeezed the base with his other hand, trying to hold back. Finally, he rolled on a condom and rubbed the rest of the lube down his shaft, thankful for the latex blunting the sensation. 

Nicky was tight and hot around him and it didn’t take long before Alex found a good rhythm. Nicky pulled one leg up, letting him go deeper. He moaned quietly when Alex hit his prostate, fingers scrambling for purchase across his shoulders. 

Alex tried to be gentle- Nicky said it had been a long time- but Nicky wrapped a leg around his waist and fucked forward onto his cock. Alex grabbed his hips and thrust harder. If Nicky was sore tomorrow, well, at least they didn’t have a game. 

Alex could feel his own orgasm building in him like a great crescendo. He moved one hand to Nicky’s cock, jerking him once, twice, three times before Nicky’s cum spilled between them and he clenched down around Alex in a beautiful spasm. 

Alex saw white as he came, sagging over Nicky and panting. Slowly, he pulled out, tying off the condom and collapsing beside him. 

Nicky had his eyes closed even a minute later. A little worried, Alex propped himself up. “You ok?” 

“Uh huh.” Nicky said, voice faint. 

Alex grinned. “You like that?”

“Uh huh.” 

Alex felt self-satisfied; it took a lot to make Nicklas Backstrom speechless, under any circumstances. He pulled Nicky to his chest, kissing his forehead. Nicky was limp like a rag doll, dropping off to sleep quickly. 

After only 10 minutes of beautiful afterglow, Hanna’s warbling cry echoed down the hall and in the baby monitor. Nicky groaned, pulling on his briefs and shorts before plodding to her room. 

“30 minutes does not count as a nap.” Alex heard Nicky say mildly, voice crackling through the monitor. Hanna babbled her counterargument at him convincingly. 

Alex dressed and Nicky appeared in the doorway. “Can you hold her? I need a shirt.” 

Alex accepted the baby, wondering if he should feel guilty for what he did to her papa. Hanna stared up at him with innocent eyes, four fingers in her mouth. 

“Do you want dinner?” Nicky asked. It was only 5 o’clock, but Alex was jet lagged and Nicky was on baby-time, which was arguably worse. 

“Sure. I make you something.” Alex’s mother hadn’t let him move away without learning the basics of how to cook and he’d eaten enough delicious food that he knew what he wanted. It helped that he already knew the layout of Nicky’s kitchen. He already knew what Nicky liked. 

Some people he’d dated had been impressed when he’d cooked for them, but Nicky wouldn’t be one of them. Nicky already knew, first off and secondly, Nicky was not easily impressed. 

Alex threw together pasta with chicken and a squeeze of fresh lemon. Hanna watched him attentively, her eyes tracking his movement. Nicky slipped her into the baby sling while he ate. 

“You could put her down.” Alex pointed out. 

Nicky shrugged. “I like holding her.” He paused. “I still can’t believe she’s mine.” He admitted. 

Alex smiled at him. “Team comes back, we have party for Hanna.” 

“That’ll be nice.” Nicky agreed easily. 

After dinner, Alex and Nicky stretched out on the floor with Hanna for tummy time, which Nicky explained the concept of and Alex wasn’t sure he understood. 

“Is like gym for babies?”

Nicky snorted, pushing a toy towards Hanna as she worked to push her upper body up. “Basically. It helps build strength, so she can hold up her head and learn to crawl.” 

“Conditioning for babies.” Alex settled on. Hanna smacked the rattle in frustration. “She likes like you like bike.” Alex teased; Nicky hated the bike. 

“Exactly. But it’s good for us.” Nicky said patiently, to both of them. 

There was a pause before Alex spoke. “So, going slow?” 

Nicky blushed. “I might not be good at that.” He admitted. 

“No shit.” Alex laughed. Nicky gave him a sideways glance. “She can’t repeat yet.” He waved his hand dismissively. 

Nicky rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Tell me if it’s too much for you.” He said seriously. “And I’ll back off. I know this-“ he gestured towards Hanna, “-is kind of a lot.” 

“Like you since you got drafted.” Alex said. “I’ll be ok.”

Nicky pressed his lips together. “You never said anything.” 

Alex shrugged. “Different then. Young, new to NHL. Thought it would mess up team. Thought you freak out.” 

“And now?”

“Don’t want to miss out on being with you. Doesn’t matter what other people think.” Alex said, shifting to lay on his side. 

Hanna tried to do the same but she hadn’t quite mastered rolling over and got stuck. Wordlessly, Nicky settled her back on her belly. 

“You never say anything either.” Alex pointed out. 

“You were dating her.” Nicky couldn’t even bring himself to say her name, not looking up. “You kissed me, on New Years once, remember?” 

Alex had a vague recollection of drinking away relationship red flags and kissing someone; He didn’t know it had been Nicky. “Oops.” 

“I was hung up on you for so long.” Nicky chuckled, shaking his head. “Greenie hated me.”

“You start dating David.” Alex pointed out. 

“You got engaged. I tried to move on.” Nicky swallowed hard, touching his finger to Hanna’s hand. “I wanted to adopt a baby, but David said he wouldn’t be with me if I didn’t quit playing. He said he didn’t think it would be good for a baby, to grow up like that.”

“Crazy.” Alex shook his head. 

“Yeah. It didn’t...it didn’t end well.” 

Alex didn’t hate many people, but he hated anyone who put that hurt look on Nicky’s face. “I’m sorry.”

Nicky’s eyes smiled as they met Alex’s. “It worked out.” 

Alex thought for a moment. “New Years doesn’t count as first kiss.” 

“Oh?” 

“I was being dumb. Didn’t know what I was doing.” Alex said. “Real first kiss much better.” 

“Much.” Nicky agreed, righting Hanna when she got stuck again. “Almost there, alskling.” He said to her, gently encouraging. 

“You think her eyes stay blue?” 

Nicky shrugged. “Won’t know until she’s older.” It was a shame she wasn’t Nicky’s blood and wouldn’t have his green eyes, Alex thought. Still, watching as Hanna tried again to roll over, she was his completely. 

“Stubborn baby.” Alex chuckled. “When she get first pair of skates?”

“She has to be able to walk first.” Nicky said, letting Hanna struggle a moment before rolling her back to her stomach. 

The blistering heat of July meant they had to get creative with their outings. Even after having lived in the area for 10 years, there were a lot of places Alex had never been. Museums, he found, were great for babies. Babies didn’t really care what they were looking at, so long as someone snuggled them and made sure they were fed at regular intervals. 

“Hanna be smartest baby in the world, go to so many museums.” Alex said, holding the door open for Nicky. Outside, dark clouds threatened to unleash on them. 

“Hopefully. Thanks.” Nicky slipped in behind him. Even from the relatively short walk from the parking lot to the entrance, his skin was pink and damp. Hanna was resting against his chest in her baby sling. 

“Let me take her.” Alex offered. 

“You sure?”

“Yes, sure.” Alex rolled his eyes. Nicky undid the baby-holder and transferred it to Alex, adjusting it until Hanna was held against his chest close. “See? Best baby.” Hanna smiled when he tickled just below her neck, kicking her feet. 

Nicky stretched his arms, cracking his back. Alex chuckled. “She not that heavy.” He teased. 

“You carry her for 3 months.” Nicky retorted. 

“Could get stroller.” Alex suggested as they walked. 

Nicky shook his head. “She doesn’t like it. And they’re hard to take places.” He paused, watching as Alex cupped the back of Hanna’s head, thumb stroking back and forth. “And, I don’t know, I like it. Holding her.” He added softly. 

Alex looked down at her face, which stared up at him contemplatively; he could see why. “She gets bigger, need bigger holder.” He suggested. “Better for back.”

“I have another one…” Nicky trailed off. 

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” But he’d stopped moving completely, his face gone terse and pale. 

Confused, Alex looked up to see a man staring daggers at them. 

“Is that-“

“Yeah.”

The man approached, tall and well-built, with dark hair and dark eyes. “Nicklas.” He greeted, his voice neutral. 

“David.” Alex kept his mouth closed, his hand protectively shielding Hanna. 

“I’m here with a school group.” David explained. “We do summer activities for kids in the city, to keep them learning when they’re not in school.” He explained, seemingly for Alex’s benefit. Alex found himself nodding along with him. 

“That’s nice.” Nicky said, his tone icy.

David frowned at him. “Yes, well…” he looked at Alex, recognizing him, and at the baby. “I didn’t know you had a baby. Congratulations.” 

“Not mine. I just like hold.” Alex said, grinning as understanding dawned like day across David’s face. 

“Her name is Hanna.” Nicky said. “I adopted her.” 

“You what?”

Nicky had his face-off mask on, the blank murderous look Alex loved. “You congratulated Alex when you thought she was his.” Nicky said gently. “So, obviously you don’t think all hockey players are incapable of having families.” 

“That’s not-“ 

“Or was that just an excuse?” Nicky continued, his voice toneless and polite. “Since you were fucking one of your coworkers.” 

Alex schooled his expression to one of indifference, while he was internally screaming; he loved Mean Lars.

David fumbled. “That’s not- it’s more complicated than-“

“It’s not complicated.”

“You were never around.” David countered, venom in his words. “And you didn’t want to give us a real chance. You probably didn’t even love me, not really.”

“That’s not true.” Nicky said, soft and quiet, harsh coolness ebbing away. 

“I always thought there was someone on the team.” David’s eyes flashed as they looked at Alex. “I guess I was right.” 

“I didn’t cheat on you.” Nicky said, patiently. 

“No, you were just never really mine.” David’s tone was sharp with accusation. “You didn’t want me to meet your family or the team.” 

Nicky looked down at his shoes and it took Alex a second to realize the blond had no rebuttal. David leaned closer, continuing. “A baby won’t fix what’s wrong with you, Nicklas.”

“Nothing wrong with Nicky.” Alex growled, taking a half-step closer. David was taller than Nicky, but not nearly as broad. His eyes widened, but he didn’t back down.

Nicky swallowed hard. “Alex. Give me Hanna and you can say hi to the kids. They’re watching.” David’s head whipped around and met eyes with a herd of barely restrained school children who had just realized their teacher was talking to Alex Ovechkin and Nick Backstrom. 

“She had pneumonia.” Nicky explained flatly. “So I really don’t want her to get sick again.” Nicky took Hanna and left, disappearing from the gallery quickly. 

Alex looked at David awkwardly. “You Caps fan?” He asked. 

David scowled at him. “Don’t.”

“Right.” And then he put on a broad smile and took pictures and signed some autographs, making excuses for Nicky. “Backy have to go change baby. You don’t want to smell dirty diaper.” He laughed as the kids acted grossed out. 

After the kids were done, Alex stood and glanced at David. “You want me to sign anything for you or boyfriend?” He asked in undertones, grinning as David huffed in frustration. 

“Fuck you.” David snapped. “I didn’t plan this expecting to run into my ex, his kid, and...whatever you are.” 

“Boyfriend.” 

“What?”

“Means dating.” Alex explained. 

“I know what it- nevermind.” David took a deep breath. “Obviously, this sucks. Tell Nicklas that I am sorry. And...congrats. On the adoption.” 

Alex nodded and left to go find Nicky. Finally, he got his phone out to call, only to find that he had a text. It was one word. ‘Car.’ 

Nicky and Hanna were in the backseat, Hanna taking her bottle. The sky had turned overcast and the AC easily cooled the car. Alex climbed into the driver seat, turning around to look at Nicky. 

Away from prying eyes, Nicky looked weary. His eyes were a little bloodshot and wet. Alex squeezed his knee. “Sorry.” He said, frowning when Nicky looked away. 

“I’m sorry.” Nicky shook his head. “That was…”

“Sucked?”

“Yeah.” He laughed a little. “Ooohhh, fuck.” He groaned, wiping his eyes with one hand. 

“We see Maria too, never leave house again.” Alex said, smiling. 

“Deal.” Nicky studied Hanna’s peaceful face for a moment. “I didn’t want him to meet the team at first because we hadn’t been together that long. And then, things were never good. We fought, you know, and I didn’t...no one needed to know it wasn’t good.” Nicky explained. 

“It’s ok.” 

“I didn’t want to risk coming out for someone who wouldn’t be a long term thing.” Nicky explained. 

“Oh.” 

“I’m sorry.” Nicky said quietly. “I just want to go home.” 

Hanna finished her bottle and Nicky carefully buckled her in before he got into the passenger seat. He avoided eye contact on the way home, his expression heavy and exhausted. Alex kept his eyes focused on the road, heavy raindrops splattering against the windshield. 

Hanna went down for her nap like a champ and Alex lingered uneasily at the threshold. Nicky looked at him, and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the living room. “Now we really should talk.” He said, a thin smile playing across his lips. 

They settled on the couch, sitting close. Nicky laced his fingers through Alex’s. “We should tell the team, when everyone is back.” Nicky started. “If you want, we can tell everyone.”

Alex didn’t have to ask what Nicky wanted; Nicky had always wanted to fade into obscurity and score goals and make assists as a faceless hockey player. “You wouldn’t mind?” 

“Not for you.” Nicky smiled. 

Alex kissed him tenderly. “Was it really bad when you with David?”

“Not all of it. Just...I really liked you and you proposed to her.” His fingers traced patterns on the back of Alex’s hand. “I met David at a charity event after that.” 

“Uh huh.” Alex prompted. 

“We hit it off, he asked me out. At first, things were good. Then we started to fight, you know, about him meeting the team or how much time I spent on hockey.”

“Why not break up then?” Alex asked. 

Nicky blew out a breath, puffing his cheeks for a second. “Good question.” He chuckled. 

“You liked him?” 

“I thought I loved him. Now...I guess I was just...lost.” Nicky shifted uncomfortably. “He made me happy, most of the time.” 

Alex stroked Nicky’s hair, holding him close. It would be easier if David had been a complete dick, but real life was more complicated, as Alex knew too well. 

“Maria didn’t like hockey either.” He said quietly. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Not so different than you and David.” Alex shrugged. It sounded like a familiar story. 

“She cheated?” 

“I think so. She never say. She gone a lot and not say why, lie to me about being with friends...tell me, it’s my fault, so busy.” Alex swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Get in big fight when I ask about it. Threw ring at me.”

“Really?”

“I know, like...like bad romance movie.” Alex forced a chuckle. 

“I came home early and went to David’s house…they didn’t hear me come in.” Nicky said. 

“Also like bad movie.” Alex said; if they didn’t laugh about it, they might cry. Nicky leaned his head into Alex’s chest, knees tucked up. “I never do something like that.” He promised. 

“I’ll never throw a ring at you.” Nicky agreed. 

“Deal.” Alex said, kissing him. 

[4 months]

Alex learned about sleep regression, which was when babies sleep patterns changed and formerly sweet, easy children became tiny monsters that exhausted their parents. Or, at least, that’s what Alex took from it. 

He hadn’t been spending the night most nights and he had been giving Nicky some space; despite all their history, it was still a new relationship. Plus, Alex had his own house that needed his attention and it felt silly to pay bills if he wasn’t actually staying there. 

He came over one morning when Hanna’s first nap should’ve been starting and found a haggard looking Nicky holding an upset baby and pacing the upstairs hallway. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

Nicky shook his head. “She won’t go to sleep.” 

“Sounds tired.” Alex observed. 

“She is.” Nicky said. “But every time I put her down, she does this.” He sighed and leaned against the wall. 

“She do this yesterday?” Alex asked. Hanna had been finicky with her afternoon naps, they’d been getting shorter and less reliable, but she was usually eager for her morning one. 

“Kind of? I don’t know. She woke up four times last night.” 

“Hungry?” Alex asked. 

“Just gave her a bottle.” Alex’s mom often asked for updates on Hanna, who she regarded as her granddaughter. (And Alex hadn’t even told her he and Nicky were together yet.) Tatiana had explained some of the more nuanced aspects of childcare to Alex, including that babies went through growth spurts like older children did, getting excessively hungry and sometimes cranky. 

“Give me. You go rest.” For once, Nicky didn’t protest when he handed Hanna over, which Alex knew meant he’d reached his limits. 

Alex bounced Hanna is his arms. “Silly baby, need sleep.” He muttered. He closed the door to her room, turned on the sound machine, and settled in the rocking chair. 

Hanna’s room was a soothing gray, with accents of red; Alex assumed Nicky hadn’t known if he was getting a boy or girl. The newest addition was a photo of Nicky and Hanna together that Alex had framed. 

After a few minutes, Hanna started to relax, but she startled awake when Alex laid her down in the crib. 

He picked her up again, calmed her down, and they repeated the process. Alex frowned at her. “This is not how we sleep.” He sighed. He leaned over the crib and thought about calling his mom. Some quick mental math told him she should be home and he pulled his phone from his pocket. 

_“Hello, Sasha how are- is that Hanna?”_ Tatiana stopped, concerned about the whimpering half-tearful sounds coming through the phone. 

_“Yes.”_ Alex explained the situation, leaving out Nicky’s frayed nerves. 

Even so, she guessed it. _“Poor Nicklas. You did the same thing.”_ Alex was learning, through talking to his mom about Hanna, that he had not been an easy baby. “Try shaking the crib.”

 _“Shaking the crib?”_ Alex repeated incredulously. 

_“Not hard. Just a little. She falls asleep in the car, yes? Try like that.”_ Tatiana advised. 

Skeptical, Alex rewrapped Hanna in her blanket- that was the other problem. She was too mobile to be swaddled, so they couldn’t wrap her arms in like before. Now they were out and they kept her awake; Alex wasn’t sure how babies were ever suppose to survive if their own arms bothered them. 

He placed her back in the middle of the crib and gently shook it. Slowly, gradually, as his mother filled him in on family gossip and local news, Hanna quieted and fell asleep. _“Did it work?”_ Tatiana asked knowingly. 

_“Yeah.”_

_“Good. Take care of Nicklas. It’s hard to be a single parent. I love you.”_

_“Love you too.”_ Alex whispered. They said their goodbyes and Alex snuck out of the room. Nicky was in his bedroom, freshly showered and zoning out as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“She’s asleep?” He asked. 

“Had to call my mama.” Alex explained. “She said to shake crib.”

Nicky’s eyebrows shot up comically. “You- what?”

“Shake, but gentle. Like a car ride.” He said quickly, watching Nicky relax again. 

“Oh. And that worked?”

“So far.” 

“Huh.” Nicky held up his phone. “I called my mom too. She said I need to put her to bed earlier tonight. That might help.” 

Alex looped an arm around Nicky, kissing the side of his head. “Babies, complicated.” He decided. 

“You don’t have to-“

“Nicky.” He interrupted. “Want to be here. Want to be with you.” 

“Just...this is the part that’s less fun.” Nicky shrugged. “If you want a way out…”

“Not going anywhere.” Alex punctuated his statement with another kiss. 

Nicky smiled at him sleepily and it was one of the best things Alex had ever seen. He kissed him on the lips, tangling a hand in his hair and pushing him back against the mattress. 

Nicky groaned, letting Alex pull his pants down. Nicky was half-hard already, sleepy but wanting. Alex had fantasies of Nicky riding his cock until he came untouched, but that wasn’t happening today. Alex kept it simple. He fingered Nicky open until he could slide in- they'd talked about it and weren’t using condoms anymore. He was gentle as he fucked him. 

Alex had once been the type to boast about sexual prowess, but this wasn’t that. It was simple and straightforward, but intimate and loving. There was no gymnastic component, but Nicky’s eyes met his between kisses and Nicky’s hand gripped tight to his as he got closer to climax. 

It wasn’t fancy, was fairly vanilla, but Alex wanted to take care of Nicky and show him how much he loved him; he didn’t need to swing from the chandelier to do that. 

Nicky fell asleep in the afterglow wrapped up in Alex’s arms. Alex dozed as well, drifting through endless thoughts and dreams, Nicky’s smile forming and reforming in his mind. 

Alex woke to Hanna making temperamental sounds and Nicky hastily getting dressed before going to get her. 

Nicky brought her back to his room, laughing as Alex quickly dressed himself. “What time did she finally go to sleep?” He asked. 

Alex checked the time. “About an hour ago, I think. Maybe more.” 

Nicky sighed. “Better than nothing.” He smiled at Hanna with heavy eyes. “Now what, alskling?”

“Ba!” Hanna said, emphatically. 

“You’re right. We should have lunch.” Nicky said, nodding along with her. 

“You want to go out?” Alex asked. Nicky’s nose wrinkled. “You want Chinese food?” Alex guessed. 

“That sounds good.” Nicky said agreeably. Alex ordered their food and Nicky made a bottle for Hanna. 

Compared to other people Alex had dated, Nicky was easy to make happy. He may enjoy being wined and dined, but he was just as happy to eat take-out on his couch. Alex suspected it would’ve been much different if they’d gotten together before Hanna had been born. 

After eating, Nicky placed Hanna on a blanket on the floor, and they watched as she rolled from front to back. Alex stretched out beside her, pushing toys towards her. She gave a delighted shriek and tried to reach for them. 

That evening, Nicky put Hanna down to sleep early, rocking the crib until she’d fallen asleep. He crept out of the room with Alex. It was only 6 o'clock, but Nicky looked dead on his feet. 

“Movie?” Alex offered, knowing Nicky would be asleep in the first 10 minute, if not sooner. 

Alex made popcorn and returned to the sight of Nicky curled up on the couch clutching the baby monitor. Alex stilled, considering him with equal parts love and pity. He laid a blanket over him and sat down beside him, turning the volume down as he started the movie. 

Nicky awoke halfway through. “Fuck, sorry.” He groaned. 

Alex laughed under his breath. “Is ok. Still cute, even when you snore.” 

Nicky collapsed back to the sofa, pulling the blanket up. “I don’t snore.” He grumbled. 

“Of course not.” Alex said, so innocent a halo might appear above him. “And I don’t send video to whole team.” 

Nicky narrowed his eyes at him. “You wouldn’t.”

“You right. I wouldn’t.” 

Nicky pressed his lips together before scrambling for his phone. The team text message, which Nicky had tried to remove himself from and finally ended up turning off notifications for, was filled with people teasing him. Scrolling up, he found the video in question. 

‘Hanna can come visit and we’ll see how well you all sleep.’ He typed out, setting his phone back down. 

Alex grinned at his reply. “You want me to stay tonight, help with her?” 

Nicky shrugged. “I’m ok. Hopefully tonight will be better.” He paused. “You can stay, obviously, but don’t because you think I need the help. Stay because you like sleeping with me.”

Alex kissed him gently, hand cupping his cheek. “I stay.” He promised. 

Despite Nicky’s best efforts and expert consultation (their moms), Hanna continued to fight sleep. She went from a generally cheerful baby to a clingy and needy one. If Nicky wasn’t holding her, she was upset. Even Alex paled in comparison. 

“Life not so hard if you sleep.” Alex told her gently, bouncing her. “Stop chewing on that.” He pulled a pen from her mouth and she threw back her head to wail. 

Alex bounced her more. “Ok. We find better chew toys.” He rounded up a suitable selection and set them in front of her. “Papa is out running. Just hang on, ok?” 

Her whole face wrinkled and she laid down her head and cried. She’s been fed, changed, and she’d woken from her nap only half an hour earlier. Alex was running out of ideas. 

Picking her up again, he noticed a pale bump along her gums. “Oh no.” He sighed. “You couldn’t wait til you sleep more for that? Teeth need lots of sleep.” Hanna rubbed her snotty nose against Alex’s shirt and he barely minded; was that what love was?

He shared his discovery with Nicky after he’d showered. Nicky frowned. “Poor alskling.” He cooed, cradling her in his arms. “Ok. We can fix this.”

They couldn’t fix it, but they could give her medicine and cold toys, which helped. Alex read about teething on his phone while Nicky let Hanna snuggle against his chest and chew on his finger, occasionally blowing spit bubbles at him. 

“Says teething gives babies small fever sometimes.” Alex said, looking up. 

Nicky hummed, kissing her forehead. “She doesn’t feel warm.” 

“Ok, good.” Alex read over the list again. “Makes sleep worse and drool more.” He added. 

Nicky sighed, trying to wiggle his finger. Hanna latched onto it with both hands; under no uncertain terms was she releasing her best chew toy. 

Alex’s phone dinged. “My mama say whiskey on gums makes the pain stop.” Nicky raised his head to look at him incredulously. Alex’s phone dinged again and he laughed. “And if it doesn’t work on her, you drink it.” He finished. 

Nicky snorted. “Yeah, no, we’re not doing that.” Then, to Hanna, “at least let me switch fingers.” 

Because Alex was in town, Caps PR people sent him information about events he could attend. He ignored most of them, knowing he wasn’t really expected to do anything in the off-season, but he always went to the ones at the Children's Hospital. 

Nicky wouldn’t go, not with any risk of bringing something home to Hanna. He was still her favorite teether. “I’m sorry I can’t go.”

“Is ok. Best for Hanna.” Alex didn’t want a repeat of anything nearing the stress of when Hanna was in the hospital. “I will wash hands a lot.”

“I can’t imagine her being there any longer than she was.” Nicky said, sounding quiet and sad. 

Alex hummed in agreement. Hanna wasn’t his, but he remembered vividly how helpless he’d felt. He felt a new sympathy for the parents he saw as he visited and he made sure to take extra time to speak with them. 

By the time he left the hospital, he wanted nothing more than to snuggle Hanna close and never let her go.Still, he drove home first, showering and changing all his clothes. His last few texts to Nicky had gone unanswered. 

The house was dark when he arrived and Alex quietly climbed upstairs. Hanna was sleeping soundly in her crib when he dared to open the door to catch a peek. He’d have to wait until morning to kiss her. 

Continuing down the hallway, he pushed open the door to Nicky’s room. The bed was unmade, but empty. “Nicky?”

“In here.” Nicky called hoarsely from the bathroom. 

Alex found him with his head in his hands, pale and shaky. “Migraine?” He asked, careful to keep his voice low. 

“Yeah.” Nicky whispered. 

“Ok, bed.” He decided, helping him stand and walk on weak legs to the bed. Alex put the trash bin within arm’s reach and moved the baby monitor to his side of the bed. 

“I can take care of her.” Nicky argued anemically. 

“But you don’t have to. Have help.” Alex pointed to himself. “You play with migraines sometimes, obviously can do baby stuff. But you don’t have to.” He repeated. 

“If you don’t mind.” Nicky relented, sagging into the pillow. 

“Don’t mind. Need snuggles, might go wake her up now.” Alex teased. 

“Don’t do that.” Nicky chuckled weakly. 

“Ok, fine. But you need sleep.” Alex declared. 

Nicky did not need to be told twice, slipping into sleep soon after he closed his eyes. Hanna woke up around 3 in the morning and Alex successfully fed her, changed her, and put her back to sleep before coming back to an empty bed. 

The bathroom door wasn’t all the way shut and he pushed it open as Nicky dry heaved over the toilet. Alex didn’t say anything. He rubbed his back and offered him a wet washcloth to wipe his face with before guiding him back to bed. 

In the morning, Nicky was still asleep, but even slumber didn’t erase the lines of pain around his eyes. 

Alex went through Hanna’s morning routine of feeding her, changing her diaper, and dressing her. He found the Ovechkin jersey folded in a drawer but it was too small. “Need to get you new jersey.” He said, picking something else. “You grow too fast.” 

Hanna’s face soured and she fussed unhappily, chewing on her hand. “Yes, need medicine too.” Alex agreed. 

He measured out the proper dosage and gave it. Hanna, who looked stunned by his sudden betrayal, sputtered at the taste. “I know, does not taste like cherry.” Alex said gently, using his thumb to wipe away tears. “Let’s go see your papa.”

Nicky was still in bed but awake, hands over his eyes. “Still bad?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky said, keeping his head still. 

Alex sat down beside him, stroking a hand through his sweaty, tangled hair. “Hanna teething, you headache. Not a good day for Backstrom Family.” 

Nicky slowly uncovered his face, wincing as he moved and picked up Hanna. “Lucky we have you.” He said, smiling at him. 

Alex wanted to make a joke, but his heart melted in his chest and he couldn’t make his tongue work. He managed a sappy smile instead. 

Hanna cuddled up with Nicky, chewing on his finger. Nicky frowned and tilted her chin, groaning as he looked in her mouth. “She has another tooth coming in.” He said, closing his eyes again. 

“Poor baby.” Alex said. “Here, I take her. You want any food?” 

“No, but thank you.” Nicky said, managing to be polite even as his face paled at the thought of eating. Alex pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Ok. You sleep.”

It was almost noon before Nicky stumbled downstairs, still in his sleep clothes. He collapsed onto the couch, disjointed and weak, burying his face in a pillow. Alex raised his eyebrows at him. “Still?” He asked, surprised. Nicky made a noise of non-committal, muffled by the pillow. “Poor Nicky. You take anything?”

“Can’t.” Nicky shrugged. 

“Too sick?” Alex guessed. 

Nicky nodded once. “I can handle Hanna if you had plans.” Alex couldn’t help but smile sadly; Nicky hated to impose on others. 

“No plans. Just snuggle best baby.” Hanna did not want to be put down. Alex rotated teething rings through the freezer, which kept her happy. She snuggled in against him and he thought of the children he’d seen the day before and held her even tighter. 

“Ok.” Nicky breathed, falling asleep to the sounds of Hanna babbling around her teether, her voice quiet and content. 

Hanna went down for her afternoon nap with only minimal fussing. Alex wondered what it felt like to have teeth breaking through your gums. His mother had told him as a child he’d chewed on his brother’s hockey pucks. 

Back downstairs, he wrapped Nicky up in his arms, kissing his cheek. Nicky hummed, opening his eyes a little. “Better?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky said, letting Alex shift them until they were spooning, though the couch was barely big enough to hold them both. Alex knew he wasn’t 100% yet if only by the way he didn’t protest the manhandling. 

“Good.” Alex said. 

“Thanks for your help with Hanna.” Nicky said as his eyes slipped closed. 

Alex kissed the back of his head, burying his nose in the blond curls. “I like it. Like you, like Hanna.” Like feeling needed, like feeling loved, he added to himself. 

Nicky hummed again, lacing his fingers through Alex’s and kissing them. “You can’t chew on finger too.” Alex teased. 

Nicky chuckled, which Alex felt in his chest more than he heard it. “Duly noted.” He said dryly. “Greenie texted me yesterday. He’s going to be in town tomorrow. He wants to meet Hanna.”

“She can chew on Greenie, but only if he wash hands.”

Nicky snorted. “Right.” He turned serious. “If it’s ok with you...I want to tell him we’re together.” 

Alex hugged him tighter. “Ok with me. Surprised you not told him already. He’s best friend.” 

“I think he suspects it.” Nicky admitted. “He knows you’re here and he knows I…”

“Know you liiiiiiiiiiked me?” Alex finished obnoxiously. 

“Shut up.” Nicky elbowed him gently, smiling. “Yeah. He knows that. I just haven’t told him.”

“Tell him and then we all get lunch.” Alex shrugged. “Easy.”

“It is, isn’t it.” Nicky agreed mildly. “Everything with David was so complicated.”

“I’m easy.” Alex joked. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Nicky said, expression demure as he teased Alex with a playful tone. “But it’s not complicated.”

“Not supposed to be complicated to love someone.” Alex said, catching himself as he said it. Nicky stilled in his arms, holding his breath. Waiting to see if he was going to play it off as a joke, Alex realized. “I love you. You don’t have to say yet. It’s ok.” 

Nicky worked to roll over, faces so close their noses were almost touching. “No, I...I love you too.” He said, looking up at Alex through his lashes. 

“Oh.” Alex breathed, the air in the room suddenly not enough to sustain him. Nicky kissed him, starting as something chaste and measured that quickly devolved once Alex’s hand slid up his shirt. 

Alex traced circles around his nipple before pinching it between his fingers, feeling the electricity jolt through Nicky’s body. 

Alex was still feeling smug when Nicky deftly worked his hand into the front of Alex’s sweats, stroking his dick once before cupping his balls. Alex groaned into his mouth, kissing him harder and biting his bottom lip tender. 

Alex felt like a teenager fumbling around on the couch. He yanked Nicky’s pajamas halfway down his thighs and spat in his palm before jacking him off. 

They weren’t really kissing anymore so much as they were panting into each other’s mouths and Alex found it more attractive than he thought he really should. He sucked a hickey into the side of the Swede’s neck, biting it once for good measure. 

Nicky twisted his wrist, dragging his thumb over the head of Alex’s cock and it made his toes curl. Christ, he use to last longer, he thought to himself. It would’ve been embarrassing to be as close to the edge as he was if Nicky wasn’t right there too, cheeks blotchy red and eyes shut tight. 

Alex could feel his orgasm building with each desperate thrust of Nicky’s cock into his hand, begging for more. Alex tightened his grip and half rolled over on top of him, kissing him viciously. 

Nicky’s rhythm became erratic, his hips falling out of time with Alex’s hand and then he froze all together, cumming with a low moan. His eyelids fluttered before he remembered to move his hand. It only took a few more strokes for Alex to reach his breaking point, his seed mixing with Nicky’s on his stomach. 

They lay together panting for a few more minutes, trying to catch their breath. Nicky was the first to move, wriggling out from underneath Alex with a muffled apology. He returned moments later with tissues. 

“Thank you.” Alex said, offering Nicky a goofy smile. 

Nicky returned it, collapsing on the couch beside him and closing his eyes. Alex reeled him in and pressed an unhurried kiss to his lips. Nicky was loose and pliant in his arms, like he may drift off to sleep. 

“You always sleep after sex?” Alex teased, keeping his voice pitched low.

“Mhm.” Nicky mumbled, pressing closer.

Alex picked up his hand, studying it. Nicky was reserved but not withdrawn; quiet but not shy. He was nothing like Alex imagined but he’d never hidden himself. He was just very good at keeping walls up. Alex kissed his fingers; it was nice to be the person there when they came down. 

The next day, Mike Green arrived 15 minutes later than he said he would, making excuses about delays at the airport. He made a show of presenting Hanna with his jersey. 

Nicky forced a straight face. “She’s never wearing that.” 

“Fuck you, I’ll put it on her myself.” Mike declared, laughing. He scooped Hanna up in his arms, kissing her cheeks. “You are so cute.” He told her. “Luckily, nothing like your papa.” 

“Makes same faces.” Alex supplied helpfully. 

“The murder face?” Mike asked delightedly. 

“I don’t have a murder face.” Nicky protested. 

“Yes, and nose wrinkle.” Alex said, as though Nicky hadn’t spoken at all. “Is very cute.”

Mike cocked his head, glancing between them like he could read something in the air. Nicky picked up the diaper bag. “We’re dating. Lunch?” He asked.

“Wait, hold up, what?” Mike said, settling Hanna on his hip. “Really? How long?”

Nicky looked at Alex helplessly. “3 months.” Alex answered, grinning; Nicky didn’t know. 

“You dork, you should’ve told me!” Mike laughed. “It’s about time.”

Nicky shifted his weight obviously uneasy being the center of attention, even among friends. Mike handed Hanna back and he relaxed slightly, distracting himself by smoothing down a wild curl. “So, lunch?”

Alex took pity on him. “Mexican?” He offered. 

“Sounds good.” Mike agreed. 

Over lunch, the conversation drifted between summer plans and Hanna, while carefully avoiding the last season. Alex tried to bring up baseball, but they all quickly realized they’d lost the thread of the season already. 

“They play too many games.” Mike lamented. “No one can watch all those.” 

Afterwards, they returned home. Nicky put Hanna down for her nap before settling on the sofa between Alex and Mike. “I am really happy for you guys.” Mike said, knocking a hand against Nicky’s knee. 

Nicky favored him with a soft smile. “Thanks.” 

“And Hanna is great too.” Mike added. “Even if she never wears my jersey.” 

“Maybe once she starts eating baby food. As a bib.” Nicky teased. Mike punched his shoulder and Nicky laughed, easy and unfettered. 

Alex turned on a movie and soon Nicky was slumping into his space, valiantly trying to stay awake. Mike exchanged a warm smile with Alex over the blond’s head. “When Axel was that little, Courtney and I were basically zombies.” He commiserated. 

“She doesn’t like napping anymore.” Nicky said, words slightly muffled by Alex’s chest. “She use to….She use to sleep really well.” He yawned. 

“Yeah, well, the teething doesn’t help, trust me.” Mike sympathized easily. “It’ll get better though, I swear.”

“Thanks.” 

Alex waited until Nicky was most of the way asleep before coaxing him to rest his head in his lap, blond curls splaying out over Alex’s thigh. 

Mike cleared his throat. “I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him...just be careful.” He looked at Alex. “He’s not as tough as he pretends he is.” 

“I know.” Alex tousled the blond’s hair gently. “I won’t hurt him.”

Mike nodded. “Right. But if you leave, it’s not just him, you know? Hanna likes you, she’s going to get attached to you. Just, be careful.”

“Not going anywhere.” Alex promised. 

“Good.” Mike grinned at him. “Good.” 

They watched the rest of the movie in amicable silence, until Hanna started to cry, the sound transmitted through the monitor. Nicky awoke with a start and Mike chuckled. “Best and worst alarm clock ever.” He grinned. “You ok?”

Nicky rubbed his eyes, nodding. “Does Axel sleep now?” He asked, standing. 

“Oh yeah, he sleeps great.” Mike said. After Nicky had disappeared upstairs, he added “until 6 in the morning, but yeah, he sleeps.” Alex snorted. 

“Don’t tell him. Nicky needs lots of sleep.” 

Mike left the next day and Alex broached a tender subject. “I think I should help more with Hanna. Let you sleep some.” 

Nicky frowned, his brows wrinkling together. He had dark bags under his eyes and he looked run down. “I can-“

“Yes, yes, I know.” Alex cut him off quickly. “But, don’t have to.” 

“She’s my daughter.” 

“No one raises babies all alone. Everyone needs help. Baby is a lot of work.” Alex said, silently cursing his English for not being as delicate as he wanted. “I love Hanna. Love you. Want to help you.”

Nicky sighed heavily. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Alex repeated, surprised; he’d been expecting more of a fight.

“But, if you want to stop, you have to say something, alright? Just because...just because I adopted her doesn’t mean you did. You don’t have to be responsible for her.” Nicky’s teeth worried at his lower lip, anxious and unsure.

“Nicky...when I last do something I don’t want to do?” He said, holding his hands out to his side. “Feels good to take care of her.” It felt like something that mattered, something tangible. In hockey, Alex could give and give and get nothing year after year. Hanna was appreciative and sweet, and he could subsist on her drool-laden smiles alone. 

“I don’t want you do regret spending time with me. Or with her.” Nicky admitted softly. He continued, gaining momentum like a bowling ball down a hill. “I know you like to party and go out-“

“Nicky.” Alex interrupted, closing the distance between them. “Why go out looking for something I already have?”

Nicky stilled, his mouth half-open in surprise. “Sasha…”

Alex cupped his cheek in his hand, kissing him. “So smart, but so stupid. I love you. Let me show you.” 

[5 months]

Between Hanna sorting out her nap schedule into two predictable blocks and starting to sleep for long stretches at night and Alex’s help taking over some of those late night/early mornings, Nicky was looking like a new person. Alex had almost forgotten what a well-rested Nicklas Backstrom was like. 

Nicky looped his arms around Alex’s waist, hooking his chin over his shoulder and watching as he cooked. “Smells good.” He whispered, 

Alex smiled to himself, stirring the sauce. “Is good. Here, taste.” Nicky dropped his arms, letting Alex turn to offer him a sample. 

Nicky closed his eyes, humming appreciatively. “S’good.” 

Alex kissed him, getting lost in the sensation until the sizzling of water bubbling over alerted him. 

“Oh, sorry.” Nicky said, watching as Alex turned the heat down and stirred the noodles. Alex caught a glimpse of a coy smile, rolling his eyes.

“No, you not.” He said, elbowing him. “Move or food burn.” Nicky shifted sideways, not touching Alex, but close enough that he could feel the heat of him. 

They ate in silence at the breakfast bar, Nicky’s feet resting on the bottom rung of Alex’s stool. Afterwards, Nicky did the dishes and Alex watched. Most of the year, he saw Nicky in winter clothes; barefoot, wearing shorts and a worn t-shirt was a pleasant image. 

Nicky turned his head and caught his eye, giving a lopsided grin. “What do you want to do?” He asked, his voice a little lower than usual. Alex’s stomach shivered. 

“Want you to ride me.” He said, watching with satisfaction as Nicky’s pupils dilated and a flush rose in his cheeks. He nodded slowly; sometime, Alex would figure out what it took to take him apart. 

“That sounds good.” Nicky said, trying for casual and missing. Alex’s eyes slipped from his face to the front of his shorts, where he could see the outline of his cock as it slowly filled. 

“So easy.” He grinned. Nicky pressed his lips together, looking away. Alex closed the distance between them, kissing him. “So perfect.” He added, kissing the words in Nicky’s mouth. 

He tangled a hand in Nicky’s hair and pulled, feeling him chub up more against his leg. “You like that?” Alex grinned. 

“Upstairs.” Nicky said, voice thick with want. “Now.” 

They snuck past Hanna’s room, Nicky leaning against his bedroom door after he closed it. Alex kissed him, pressing him back against the wood and biting the junction of his neck and shoulder. Nicky squirmed, gasping. “Oh, fuck.”

“That’s the idea.” Alex said, chuckling to himself.

Nicky groaned. “Don’t make jokes.” 

“What you want instead?” Alex teased, fingers latched onto the waistband of Nicky’s shorts, barely touching the skin underneath. 

“Strip.” Nicky decided, licking his lips. 

Alex knew people thought he loved attention, but they didn’t know how right they were. He slowly took off his clothes, the lusty weight of Nicky’s eyes making his skin hot and tight with want. He was hard by the time he was done and Nicky shucked his own clothes quickly, shoving him back onto the bed. 

Nicky covered him, kissing him. Alex couldn’t restrain a moan as Nicky’s cock ground into his leg hard and leaking. Alex grabbed Nicky’s ass and squeezed it tight. Nicky licked into his mouth, desperate and absolutely filthy. 

Alex rolled them over, then fished the lube out of the nightstand and dripped some on his fingers. Nicky stared up at him, panting. Alex slowly worked one finger inside him, then two. Nicky covered his mouth to muffle a noise, jerking as Alex expertly pressed the pads of his fingers into his prostate. Alex ran his other hand up  
and down Nicky’s thigh, feeling the muscles there tense.

A third finger elicited a keening whine from the Swede, a sound that went straight to Alex’s dick. Nicky fucked down onto his fingers. “C’mon, I’m ready, please.” 

Alex wiggled his fingers and Nicky bit his lip. “Bossy.” He chirped, grinning smugly. He’d done that, he’d worked Nicky up until his face was gleaming with sweat and flushed pink. He liked making him squirm. 

Alex allowed himself to be tipped off of Nicky, stroking himself once as Nicky squeezed more slick into his hand. Alex exhaled heavily as Nicky slicked him down and then slowly, with more patience than Alex had, seated himself on his cock. He took him inch by inch, rocking his hips as Alex slowly filled him. 

Finally, he was fully sheathed. Alex closed his eyes; Nicky was too much to look at, with his red stained cheeks and parted lips. His eyes smoldered and he soon found a rhythm that had Alex ready to fall apart, his hands resting loosely on Nicky’s hips. 

As Alex approached the edge of orgasm, Nicky leaned forward and captured his mouth in a kiss, swallowing his moans. Alex moved one hand, reaching down to feel where they connected, absently tracing his finger around Nicky’s stretched rim. Nicky shuddered, moving faster, and Alex-

Alex’s word had narrowed down to the way Nicky felt, the tightness around his cock, Nicky’s hands on his chest, and his lips desperately kissing him. “I’m gonna…” he tried to warn Nicky between kisses. Alex couldn’t make his hands work, couldn’t hardly think. 

One of Nicky’s hands disappeared and it took an extra beat for Alex to realize Nicky was jerking himself off. Nicky straightened and Alex basked in him for a heartbeat, before Nicky came and took Alex with him. 

Nicky gracelessly dismounted and collapsed beside him, panting and spent. “Oh, shit.” Nicky said, breathless. 

Alex wanted to tease him, but he didn’t have the energy. He rolled to his side and threw his arm over Nicky, holding him close. Nicky didn’t protest, carefully threading the fingers of his hand through Alex’s. They were tacky with drying lube but Alex didn’t have it in him to care. 

Alex woke when Hanna cried out from her room. Nicky was deep in sleep and he managed to extricate himself from his grasp and tug on shorts. 

“Good morning.” He said, pushing the door open. Hanna stopped crying and Alex felt a warmth glowing in the center of his chest. “You happy to see me?” He said, scooping her up and peppering her with kisses. “You are the best baby.” 

Hanna mouthed at his shoulder, babbling. 

“We go get bottle.” Alex decided. 

“Ba!”

“Yes, baba. So smart.” He praised. 

Alex was warming the bottle when Nicky came downstairs, his hair in desperate need of brushing. “Thanks.” He said, leaning against the counter. 

“Is easy.” Alex shrugged. “Like helping.” Hanna whined at him, reminding him she was still hungry. Alex stroked a hand down her back, watching the way Nicky’s eyes softened. 

Alex tested the temperature of the bottle and then offered it to Hanna, who sucked it down eagerly. Halfway through, she became less desperate and opened her eyes, meeting Alex’s. He was captivated by her solemn expression, momentarily peaceful and content. 

“So beautiful.” He murmured to her. She kicked her feet, maybe in agreement.

Alex heard the click of Nicky’s phone camera and lifted his head to stick his tongue out, laughing as Nicky took another picture. 

“For her baby book.” Nicky shrugged, smiling. Alex smiled back, warm like spring sunshine. 

“You don’t know how turn phone on silent?” Alex teased. 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Then I can’t hear it ring.”

“Such an old person.” Alex chided him. Nicky smiled helplessly, shrugging his shoulders. “I fix phone.” He said, setting aside Hanna’s empty bottle. Nicky handed the device over and Alex pressed the home button, pausing as he saw the background picture. 

It was old, from when they first started dating. Alex was holding Hanna and feeding her, his face downturned and gaze fond. Alex glanced at Nicky, who blushed as he tried to keep a straight face. 

Alex couldn’t bring himself to tease him about that. He unlocked the phone (Nicky didn’t even have a password on it) and clucked his tongue. “You have keyboard clicks?” He admonished. “Nicky.” 

“That’s how it comes.” Nicky shrugged. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Surprised you know how to change background. So old.” 

“You’re older than me.” Nicky pointed out. 

Alex scowled at him, then to Hanna. “Don’t listen to your papa. I’m very young.” 

She looked at him contemplatively. “Ba!” She said, before sticking her toes in her mouth. Alex took a picture of her, camera sounds turned off. 

“I think she knows you’re full of it.” Nicky laughed. 

“Never.” Alex said, kissing her forehead. “Best baby.” Alex cleared his throat. “So. My mama and Dad are going to stay with me for season.” 

“They do every year, right?”

“Most.” Alex agreed. He wiped drool from Hanna’s chin. He didn’t know why he was nervous suddenly. “Mama want to know if you need someone to watch Hanna.”

Nicky stilled. “I- Yeah. Does she...would she?”

“She offer, yes.” Alex said. 

“Do they know about...us?” Nicky asked. Alex could sense trepidation in his tone. 

“They know I’m here, helping.” Alex admitted. “I tell them when they get here.”

Nicky nodded. “That would be good. It’s hard to think of people to trust with her.” 

Alex silently agreed; the thought of leaving Hanna with a stranger made his stomach ache. “We make her room at my house.” He decided. 

Nicky nodded. “Ok. We can do that.” 

Alex knew they would probably order things online and have them delivered, but he briefly considered walking through the store and picking out nursery furniture with Nicky. It felt intimate and domestic to even picture it. 

They did go get diapers and other baby supplies, a spare car seat, and extra clothes. Alex found new jerseys and bought them in a size up too. Nicky wandered back over to Alex’s side, Hanna secured to his chest in a baby harness. She was sucking her fingers as she looked around with bright eyes. 

“Maybe those will last her all season.” Nicky said. Alex looked down at the bigger size and tried to imagine her growing that big. 

“You grow too fast.” He said to her. She blew a spit bubble at him, ambivalent to his concern. 

Nicky chuckled and rubbed a hand over her back. “It’s ok, alskling.” He smiled at Alex. “You get bigger and he’ll be excited to buy you skates.” 

Maybe Nicky didn’t have the same notions of forever that Alex did, and maybe he did. He said it easily enough, like he could picture Hanna learning to skate between them just like Alex could. Alex leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

It was almost too intimate a gesture. Nicky’s eyes were soft and warm when Alex looked up. Alex turned back to the jerseys, otherwise he would do something embarrassing. “You want Burky jersey too?” He asked Hanna. 

“Absolutely not.” Nicky laughed. “I’m sure she’ll get plenty of jerseys.” 

The Ovechkin Family arrived two days before training was due to start. Nicky was reluctant to intrude on family time. “Just in case...well, just in case.” He said over the phone. “Please.”

Alex couldn’t argue when Nicky sounded like that, a little vulnerable, a little anxious.

“They won’t be upset.”

Nicky breathed heavily, lowering his voice. “I still...I don’t want to be there when you tell them.” 

“Ok. Is ok, Nicky.” Alex said, wishing he could touch him. “I tell them, you come over for dinner.”

“Tell them what?” Alex heard a stifled gasp over the phone as his breath caught in his throat, turning to see his mother in the doorway to the kitchen, frowning. “Sasha? Tell what?”

“I call you back.” He said quickly, hanging up. “Mama…”

She sat down at the table, patting the seat beside him. The kitchen had always been the center of his family house. Meals, homework, just sitting at the table talking, watching his mother cook; life revolved around the kitchen. It seemed oddly fitting to tell her this in his kitchen. 

_“Nicky and I are together. Dating.”_ He said quickly, ripping off the bandaid. 

She frowned at him. _“Yes, of course. What did you want to tell us?”_ Alex gaped at her for a minute. _“Is he ok? Hanna? Why are they not here?”_

_“I-I- how did you know?”_

She laughed, squeezing his hand. _“You didn’t come home on time, you didn’t stay long, you are with him every day…I’ve seen how you look at each other for years.”_ She smiled. _“How could I have missed it?”_

_“And Dad?”_

_“He knows too. We are ok. We’ve talked about it. We want you to be happy.”_ She stood up and kissed his forehead. _“I can’t believe you thought you hid it from us.”_

 _“I don’t know what to say.”_ Alex admitted, dumbstruck. 

_“Say he is coming to dinner.”_

_“I’ll call him.”_ Alex said, numb with shock. _“You’re really ok with it?”_

_“Sasha…”_ she smiled at him. _“It’s different here than at home. He makes you happy. Just be happy.”_

Nicky and Hanna came over for dinner and Hanna reveled in having two additional adults to fuss over her. Still, when her eyes started to go heavy, she reached for Nicky. 

Alex watched as Hanna rubbed her eyes and buried her face into his chest, Nicky smiling fondly at her. “I drive you home.” Alex offered. “Maybe she sleep in car.” 

They’d been driving for a few minutes before Nicky spoke. “They’re ok with this?”

“Mama said they already know.” Alex admitted. “Know I like you, know I am helping with Hanna…” he trailed off. 

Nicky grinned, looking up at him. “You liiiiiiiiiike me.” He teased. 

Alex laughed and swatted at him. “Shut up. Terrible jokes.”

“The worst.” Nicky agreed easily. “Can you take the long way? I want to make sure she’s asleep.” 

“Sure.” Alex said easily. The long way meant picking his way down tree-lined streets as the sun set. The radio played softly and Nicky sung along under his breath, his fingers tapping on the armrest in time with the beat. Alex kissed him at a stop sign, just because he could. 

Nicky looked surprised, then confused, and finally a smile broke across his cheeks. “What was that for?” 

“Just a good day.” Alex shrugged. 

Practice two days later was not a good day; it was very, very bad. 

It had started with Hanna crying angrily in Tatiana’s arms when she realized Nicky and Alex were leaving, ripping out both of their hearts and grinding them into a pulp. Nicky had been silent and tense all the way to the rink and Alex felt his eyes grow hot with tears; and she wasn’t even his.

It ended with Nicky spitting blood into the bathroom sink as more dripped from his nose. Alex passed him a tissue, patting his shoulder. “You want I kill Wilso?” 

“I’m so sorry.” Tom said, for the hundredth time. “Backy-“

“Stop.” Nicky said, pressing the tissue to his nose with a grimace. “It’s fine.”

“I broke your nose!” Tom said, worry creasing his brow. 

“It was a bad bounce. I’ll get a shield.” Nicky said dismissively. 

“Full face mask.” Alex countered.

Nicky scowled at him, blood soaked through the tissue. “Fuck no. I hate those.” He took a breath. “Give me another Kleenex, I want to go home.” 

Alex handed another to him without comment. Tom, it seemed, had spent the summer forgetting what to do with a Cranky Nicklas Backstrom. “You should really get that loo-“

Nicky glared at him, none of the murderousness reduced by the bloodied tissue clutched to his face. “I’m going home to see my daughter.” He said, his tone dangerous even dripping over mundane words. “Goodbye, Tom.” 

“Yeeesh.” Tom grumbled, slipping out of the bathroom. 

Alex waited, until Nicky’s whole body sagged against the cool tile wall and he held his head in both hands. “Headache?” He asked knowingly. 

“S’fine.” Nicky lied; Alex smiled at the predictability of it. 

“Headache all day.” He said. 

Nicky opened one eye to look at him. “You could tell?” 

“You get all...squinty.” Alex settled on. “Puck to face not help.” He added. 

“No.” Nicky chuckled. “No, it did not.” 

“Ok. Go get checked out, too pretty for crooked nose.” Alex said, guiding him gently with a hand on the small of his back. 

The medical staff proclaimed that it was broken, but not displaced, and it should heal on its own in a few weeks, maybe a month. They taped a gauze pad over it, mostly to protect it from inquisitive infant fingers. 

Injury or no, Hanna was delighted to see them when they returned. Tatiana passed her to Nicky as he walked in the door. 

“What happen?” She asked. 

“Stop puck with face.” Alex answered. “Big first day.” 

Nicky ignored both of them in favor of collapsing into the sofa and closing his eyes. Tatiana gave Alex a meaningful look. “I’ll get some ice.” She said quietly before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Alex sat beside Nicky on the couch and looped an arm around his shoulders to pull him close. Nicky went with the motion easily, melting against him. 

“You ok?” Alex asked. 

“Do you think it’ll get easier to leave her?” Nicky didn’t look up from Hanna’s face, his fingers tracing her curls. 

“I don’t know.” Alex admitted. “Maybe not easy, but...more use to it, you know? Like when you do first away game and get homesick. Always miss, but doesn’t always feel so bad.” He shrugged. 

“I thought about her all day.” Nicky confessed. 

“I miss her today too.” Alex said. Nicky looked up at him finally; Alex could see the bruises setting in under his eyes. “Poor Nicky.” He kissed the top of his head, where the curls were still wet. “I drive mama home and pick up food, ok?”

“Thank you.” 

As if on cue, Tatiana emerged with an ice pack. Nicky accepted it graciously, letting Hanna touch it before holding it to his face. 

“You always miss them.” She said. “But, you have to show them how to...how to love other things too. Other things of life.” 

“Does it get easier?” 

“You get better at it. And she will too. Won’t always cry.” 

Nicky swallowed. “That might be worse.” He said, cheeks turning pink. 

Tatiana laughed. “First day of school, Sasha is very brave, not even say goodbye. I cry in car. But, is good too. Trying to teach them, yes? Teach them to be brave and smart and strong.” 

Nicky nodded slowly. “I just didn’t think I could miss someone like this.” In his arms, Hanna played with the collar of his shirt, chewing at it. 

When Alex came back, Nicky had put Hanna down for bed and was in his pajamas on the couch. They ate in comfortable silence, the TV on quietly in the background. Nicky curled up against Alex, closing his eyes. Alex held him close, feeling the steady beat of Nicky’s heart under his hand. 

“You feel better?” Alex asked, waking Nicky when he started to drift off. 

“Jus’ tired.” It was just 8 o’clock, but it had been the longest day of Alex’s life, save when he’d flown home because Hanna was sick. 

“Bed.” Alex decided. “Tomorrow will be better.”

Each day was easier than the one before. They found a routine. Tatiana drove to Nicky’s house, they left while Hanna was distracted by her morning bottle, and they went to practice. Nicky glowered at everyone from behind his full-face mask and Alex tried to make sure the rookies knew their ‘A’ wasn’t as scary as he acted. Then, they drove home, put Hanna to bed, had dinner, and went to bed themselves. 

Alex loved hockey, but by Saturday he was ready for a day off. He would’ve loved to sleep in, too, but that was wishful thinking. Hanna woke them at 6:30, babbling and cooing to herself happily in her crib. 

“I get.” Alex said, stilling Nicky when he started to move. Alex stumbled across the hall, rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

“Babababa…” Hanna said, smiling up at him as he came into view. Suddenly, Alex didn’t regret waking up early at all. 

“Good morning, Solnyshko.” Alex said gently, lifting her up in his arms. “Let’s go see your papa.” 

Nicky was blinking awake against his pillows, a slow grin breaking over his face when he saw them. Hanna kicked her feet and Alex handed her over. Nicky sat up a bit straighter, letting her bounce on his lap. 

“Good morning.” Nicky said, repeating it in Swedish. He kissed her cheeks, tickling the side of her neck and laughing as she shrieked happily and bounced more. 

“Maybe she make you morning person.” Alex teased. 

“Doubtful.” Nicky said, turning his head to yawn. “Breakfast?” 

Nicky made pancakes with bananas sliced on top, not strictly part of either of their diet plans, but they were whole wheat. Maple syrup was definitely not part of the diet, but that didn’t stop Alex was generously dousing his breakfast in it. 

“Her doctor said she can start trying solid foods.” Nicky said between bites. 

Alex glanced at Hanna, who was content to play with her teething rings in her high chair. “What she try first?” 

“Bananas.” Nicky answered. Then, after a moment. “Do you want to watch?”

If someone ever told Alex he’d be excited to watch another human eat banana mush, he would’ve thought they were insane. “I take pictures.” He promised. 

Hanna loved bananas, though not necessarily as food. She seemed to like the squishy texture, smearing it on her face, in her hair and, with some effort, on Nicky’s face too. Alex was delighted to capture a photo of that precise moment. “Careful with nose.” He said unhelpfully from a safe distance, earning himself a grim frown. 

He smiled back in return. 

“I’m not sure she actually ate any of it.” Nicky said, wetting a wash rag and cleaning himself up before turning it on Hanna. “You’re all sticky.” He said when she whined at him. 

“Messy eater.” Alex said, shaking his head. “I make bottle, yes?”

“That would be- it’s not hurting you- that would great, thanks.” Nicky said, frowning at his daughter as she cried. He scooped her up, patting her back reassuringly. “It’s not so bad, alskling.” He murmured. 

She calmed down easily, mostly clean except for some dried banana in her hair, and Nicky sat at the breakfast bar to give her her bottle. Surveying the high chair and the counter surrounding where it was attached, he chuckled. “That could’ve been worse.” He decided. 

Alex invited Nicky to his house for lunch on Sunday. He knew he would be suspicious, but he also knew Nicky wouldn’t turn down the invitation because Alex had specifically mentioned that his mom was excited to see Hanna try real foods.

Nicky didn’t do surprise parties, but he also couldn’t be too mad while he was holding his daughter. When Nicky arrived, there was a ‘congratulations!’ banner hanging in the living room, a stack of presents, and a cake. 

Andre tried to put a party hat on Nicky, but he reconsidered and put it on Hanna instead. “Can I hold her? She’s basically my sister.” He asked. 

Nicky sighed heavily, but agreed. He was smiling as he showed Andre how to hold her now that she was bigger. Hanna stared up at him with wide eyes, finally laughing when he tickled her feet. 

Nicky gratuitously accepted a string of handshakes, hugs, and back slaps before arriving at Alex’s side. “A surprise party?” He asked in undertones. 

“You not come otherwise.” Alex teased. “Didn’t want you to worry about it.” He said, which was the more real answer. 

“Thank you.” Nicky said, bumping their shoulders together as they stood side by side. Across the room, Hanna realized that Nicky had stepped out of her sight and started to cry. “That didn’t last long.” 

Alex patted his back as he went to go rescue his child. Andre was almost as worked up as Hanna, his brown eyes wide and dismayed. “I didn’t do anything, I swear.” He said. 

“I know, I know.” Nicky took her in his arms and she clung to him tightly. “There’s a lot of people, it probably makes her nervous.” Nicky gently tickled her chin and she laughed, trying to duck her head to keep him from tickling her again. “There, see. All better.”

Soon, though, Hanna warmed up to the team and, so long as Nicky remained within sight, she was content to have them all hold her and talk to her. Andre said something in Swedish to her and Alex watched as her eyes snapped to him, laughing. 

Emboldened, Andre sang a few songs to her and she gave a delighted shriek. She bounced happily in Tom’s lap. 

“She knows Swedish?” Tom asked, looking up at Nicky. 

“As much as she knows English.”

“Is she gonna learn Russian too?” He asked. Nicky glanced at Alex. 

“Not from Nicky.” Alex laughed. “Terrible accent. Only knows swear words.” 

Cake was had, presents were opened, and eventually Hanna was tired. She rubbed her eyes and reached for Alex when he came within reach. His chest went tight and he almost forgot to breath, picking her up. “Hi there, Solnyshko.” He cooed. “Ready for your nap?” 

She whined and pressed her face against his neck, her gentle curls tickling him. “Oh my god, that’s so cute.” Tom grinned, delighted. Hanna turned her head to frown at Tom and he laughed. “She makes the face!” 

Alex glanced across the room, but Nicky was talking to TJ and a few of the other dads, so he carried Hanna to the kitchen himself and mixed her bottle. “Use to mix drinks.” He told her as she chewed on her fingers. “Now, baby formula.” 

She was halfway done with the bottle when Nicky found them. “I can take her if you want to get back to the team.” He offered. 

Alex snorted. “Never.” Soon, he thought, they wouldn’t be doing this. By the end of the season she’d be a year old. Eventually, she’d stop wanting to be snuggled and held. 

“Thanks.” Nicky sat down beside him. “This is nice. It’s good for everyone to meet her.” 

“Team is family.”

“Yeah. They are.” Nicky kissed Alex’s cheek. Across the room, something clattered to the floor and they both looked up to see Andre staring at them.

“I didn’t see anything, I swear.” He lied, backpedaling out of the room. 

“Burky! Come here!” Alex yelled after him. 

Nicky squeezed Alex’s arm. “I’ve got it,” he said, following after his fellow Swede. Alex turned his attention back to Hanna. Being caught wasn't the ideal way to come out to his teammates but they’d planned on telling them soon. 

Hanna had just finished her bottle when Nicky and Andre came back. Andre smiled at Alex. “You ok?” Alex asked, passing Hanna to Nicky to take upstairs. 

“Of course! I’m really happy for you! I know we all tease but...it makes sense.” Andre glanced over his shoulder to make sure Nicky was out of earshot. “You make him really happy.”

“He makes me happy too.” Alex said, grinning. 

“When are you going to tell everyone else?” Andre asked, bouncing on his toes; it was a pretty big secret to keep. 

“I don’t know. I ask Nicky.” Alex said. 

Enough of the team, the core guys, were there that they could tell them today. The rest could be worked out later; That’s was PR people were for. Alex left Andre in the kitchen and jogged upstairs, slowing his steps as he approached Hanna’s room. He edged the door open wide enough to hear Nicky singing and waited until Hanna had been placed in her crib to push it open further. 

Nicky was warm and relaxed, deeply content in a way Alex knew was rare. As he closed the door, Alex kissed him. “Let’s tell team today.” He said. 

Nicky cocked his head thoughtfully, mulling it over. “Ok. Sure. Today.” Alex kissed him again and they went downstairs together. 

Alex got the team’s attention by standing in front of the TV, which resulted in everyone’s Mario carts falling off the track and some protesting. “Nicky and I have announcement.” Alex said, pulling Nicky close to his side. 

Nicky grimaced at being drug into the spotlight. “Hanna just went to sleep and if you wake her, I’ll make you do laps at practice.” He added.

“Yes, very important. Be quiet.” Alex agreed.

“What’s this big announcement?” Tom complained. “I was winning and you killed me.”

“You were not winning.” Andre scoffed. 

“Whatever, you were-“ whatever his next words, they were cut off when Alex pressed a dramatic kiss to Nicky’s lips and everyone freaked out (quietly, with Nicky’s very real threat in mind).

“That is not how we were going to tell them.” Nicky grumbled, frowning at Alex and wiping his mouth dry with the back of his hand. Alex beamed at him and patted his cheek.

“What the fuck?” Tom asked.

“Nicky and I dating. Any questions?” 

“When’s the wedding?” Evgeni asked, raising his hand. 

“You’re not invited. Next.” Nicky answered, lips quirking up into a smile as Evgeni sputtered indignantly. Alex laughed and looped his arm around Nicky’s shoulders, feeling him relax into his side. 

“You’re not gonna kiss in front of us anymore, are you?” Christian Djoos asked pleadingly. 

“All the time.” Alex answered, laughing as they groaned. “Only team knows, so keep it that way.” 

They nodded and Alex felt so lucky he could trust his team with this. Nicky edged away, eager to fade back into the background, even at his own party, and Alex let him. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating snacks and playing video games. When a few of the guys started to filter out, Nicky settled on the floor between Alex’s feet and started to doze the moment Alex began to play with his hair. 

T.J sat beside him, bumping their elbows together and waking the blond. “Hey, if you ever need a break, Hanna can come over for a playdate. Leni and Lyla would love to meet her. Lauren too.” He offered. 

“I might take you up on that.” 

“I’ve got so much pink shit I can give you.” T.J laughed. “Don’t let anyone scare you, having girls is great. They’re so much fun.”

“Thanks.” Nicky said, leaning his head against Alex’s knee.

“If you need anything, let us know, ok?” TJ squeezed his arm. “Both our girls were terrible sleepers, so even if you just need some rest. I was exhausted for the first 6 months.”

Nicky hummed, each blink lasting longer than the one before. TJ turned to smile at Alex. Alex could feel the tension draining out of Nicky with each pass of his hand through his hair. “Hanna is a morning person, Nicky not so much.” He explained.

After everyone left, Alex coaxed Nicky onto the couch, resting his head in his lap. Nicky drifted on the edge of sleep, pleasantly warm and comfortable. Alex squeezed his hand. 

“Ready for October?”

Nicky shifted, rolling onto his back. “Yeah, I think so.” Alex brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. 

“Good. Have to win cup for Hanna. Need pictures of her in it. For baby book.”

Nicky chuckled. “For the baby book.”


End file.
